What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
