FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
