apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
