it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize