and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
