Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Randomize
