I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
