Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she smelled like a LAN party
Everything about him screamed your future.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
