Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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