toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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