you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
