oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
