they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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