who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
