to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
