I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just gift wrapped bread.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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