ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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