p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
