Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Princesses don't give blow jobs
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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