Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
