Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick