I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.