Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.