So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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