The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
