when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It was confusing and full of hummus
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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