He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
