I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I forget how to act sober
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
