You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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