we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
