do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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