erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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