i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
