dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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