She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
