The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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