Me too!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize