I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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