oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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