i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
