Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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