I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
