No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I wish there were birth control emojis
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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