Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
