We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize