You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
