The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
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We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
