we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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