i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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