Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
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the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
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DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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