You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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