I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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