batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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