Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
