Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
