no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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