I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
