I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
