Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
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