i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
