just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
