I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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