physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
