somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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